Interpersonal Skills:  the key skills.

By Margi Matters

If you want to enjoy success and the best possible relationships with other people, developing your interpersonal skills is essential. As with any skills, the process is to learn each skill and practice it until it becomes virtually automatic and effortless.

Interpersonal skills are like the oil that keeps an engine running smoothly. If there is no oil, the engine seizes up and you won’t be going anywhere no matter how much effort you put into planning your trip or your destination.

Interpersonal skills have several subsets – communication skills are the foundation skills that impact every area of your life. Of these the skills of listening, being able to respond and express yourself accurately and effectively, plus assertiveness skills are top of the list.

Communication skills are about conveying clear, accurate and appropriate messages and ensuring that “the message sent is the message received”. Communication skills are a two way interaction, sending and receiving.  One of the aims is to avoid or minimise misunderstandings ,  inaccuracies and manipulations of various kinds.

Emotional intelligence is the buzz word that refers to the interpersonal skills of managing your own emotional life and the emotions of other people. Emotional intelligence is based in self awareness and the ability to respond rather than react. We need to work on expanding our self awareness and understanding, plus our awareness and understanding in relation to what could be going on for other people. We also need to continually expand the response repertoire we have available to us at any time. The greater our awareness, understanding and specific interpersonal skills, the greater choice we then have in how we respond in any situation.

How we relate to and connect with other people can be grouped under social skills, sometimes referred to as social intelligence. Unless you are a hermit, developing this subset of interpersonal skills is going to give you astounding return on investment for the whole of your life. Developing social skills involves learning to be open, respectful, accepting, aware, adaptable and responsive.

Self awareness and understanding underpins all interpersonal skills and journaling is one of the most rewarding ways to begin expanding your self awareness and understanding about “what makes us tick”.

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Related posts:

1. Building Confidence and Self Esteem – What Gets in the Way?
2. Improving Self Confidence and Assertiveness Skills
3. Improving Self Confidence and Communication Skills